familiarcycle

These WWDC boxed lunches aren't real

2/25/2020

The following conversations are fake. They were produced by a machine learning model, one fed a copious amount of Apple nerdery in the form of Accidental Tech Podcast transcripts. Read more about how they were made in the companion post.

Text in bold is the handwritten prompt. The generated text is occasionally cut short for brevity.

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found myself with this at least partially refurbished MacBook Air.

Casey
That's incredible.

John
Yeah, it's I've been eating this for a couple of days now and I'm loving it. And I've been eating like it's a good meal, you know, it's just not a very good computer, but it's just I don't care. I'm having it.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found a small orange. It's hard to tell in the picture, but it looks like a little orange capsule and I opened it and it's a thin plastic egg. And so I'm like, Okay, well, this is not a nice thing to find. So I got a bunch of different people in the chat room sending me pictures of different of these little egg things and they're all different sizes and shapes. And I don't know what I'm going to do with these eggs, but I did find one that I think I'm going to keep. So I think I'm going to keep this one. And it's just because it's a pretty cool little thing. And I'm going to use it as a replacement for the old, the old banana.

John
What do you mean like the world's ugliest egg? It's not like the world's ugliest egg.

Marco
Well, I mean, it's it's not ugly in the same way that the world's ugliest egg is ugly. But I still think it's it's it's interesting. And it's not like an ugly color, it's not a pretty color, but I think it's an interesting color

...

Before we go further, here's a non-lunch example to show the model's capabilities in generating all sorts of Apple-themed conversation.

I gave Apple TV a try last night, and I have to say, my new favorite show is Transparent. I thought the whole cast of that show, all of the lead actors and all of the people in it were amazing. And they really had that authenticity that made it real. And I just thought the whole show was so beautiful and funny and heartfelt and the whole cast was just wonderful. And I just thought it was I thought it was just wonderful and so it was like a very weird time for me to try out Apple TV because my wife has a bunch of different TV connected devices that she uses for various things and I don't have any of them hooked up to the Apple TV yet. But I'm really looking forward to trying out the Apple TV because I really want to use some of the new features that Apple has introduced. And I really I really really really want to use the Apple TV to play TV shows that I've wanted to watch in the past, and I think they have a bunch of them and I want to try them out.

Marco
Yeah, I think it's a really good time. I mean, I think the Apple TV is probably the best place for most people to start for most types of content. I don't think you have to do anything special with it. I think all you need is the apple TV box. And, and just choose content wisely and you will be pleasantly surprised. But I do think it's a good time to start because Apple is always getting new hardware and software updates pretty regularly. And they're doing like monthly, major hardware and software updates and the Apple TV is getting pretty good lately.

Casey
Yeah, I agree. I have not used one of these Apple TV boxes, but I have a bunch of stuff hooked up to my TV. And I have my home network set up so that if I need to watch something on a different device, I can just go to the Apple TV and pick up where I left off.

Marco
The thing I was worried about with Apple TV is like, it's it's not a great platform for things like live TV. It has, I mean, it's, it's a it's a pretty good video platform for downloading content, but it doesn't it doesn't have a very good set of apps to actually watch live TV. That being said, there's a lot of apps for video, and a lot of people are making TV shows and movies and things like that.

Not bad!

Back to the unboxing.

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found that the cheese sauce I ordered was not in it. It's not in my lunch box. It's not in my back pocket. It's not in my lunch bag. It's not on my desk, it's not on my computer. It's not in my backpack, and so I thought, you know what, screw it.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found a really big bag of Skittles in it. And I thought to myself, I wonder what's in this bag. I know you get like two or three bags and then they're like the fancy ones, you know, but like, what's in this bag? And so I opened it up and I was amazed that there was like three quarters of a pound of Skittles, it was amazing. And I thought, you know, I don't know what to do with these. And I don't think I've ever had Skittles before. I'm like, I gotta eat some Skittles and I'm like, no, you can't. They're not for me. And I was really surprised by that. So I'm like, what is going on here? And I was thinking to myself, maybe I've eaten too much. I thought I had like the right amount. So I went back to the Apple Store and I said, hey, can you give me a little bit of this Skittle and I was so amazed at how much I ate. I didn't know how much I was going to eat because I was so shocked by how much I had eaten. And I don't know if I was eating too much or what. But I don't know what it was I just know that I had some Skittles. And I was just amazed that I could eat like that. And I think you know, I've had a couple of these like a couple of times I had some Skittles and just thought to myself, Oh my god, I can't believe how much I can eat. And I just don't know if it's just that I'm not used to it or if it's a placebo effect. But I just had this thought and I couldn't shake it. And I thought to myself, maybe I should get more of these Skittles. I can't imagine why I would want more. But I think I had some at least.

Casey
Did you have any other thoughts about the Skittles? Or are you just like a kid in a candy store?

John
I was just like a kid in a candy store, you know, I'm a kid in a candy store and I'm just eating candy.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found a little sticker that said that the Mac Pro is not an option.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found myself with two Chromebooks in there. And I have no idea what to do with them. I don't know, what do I do with them? Do I keep them as backups? I don't know. And I didn't really want to buy a new one. So I had them on my desk. And I've been using them. I think, you know, I've been using them. I've been doing a little work on them. I've been using them, I think they're, they're, they're good. I'm fairly impressed with them. But I don't know, I just don't know, I guess I'm just kind of disappointed that I can't figure out what to do with them.

Casey
I want to give john one last chance to speak his mind and then I'm going to let him talk. So john, what would you say to us?

John
I mean, I'm sure I'm gonna ramble on for hours about Chromebooks. But the short version is, I think this is the year of Chrome OS, I really do. I think that the Chromebook is finally on its way to becoming the OS that Google's been looking for, and it's already happening. They're shipping Chromebooks. They're not going to stop shipping them. They're shipping Chromebooks in volume, they're shipping low volume. It's like the third Gen Google TV like, this is the year to get into this market. And they're shipping a lot of them, they're like, here's a cheap, cheap laptop, and you can put it in your house and it runs Chrome OS, and you can use it as a cheap laptop and then, you know, you can plug it in and run Linux or whatever, you can plug it into your TV and run Plex, and you can plug it into your TV and run your Plex server, like you can plug it into your TV and use it as your TV and get all the things that that make Chromebooks a good value. If you can get the cheap laptops to run Chrome OS, and not have that require a bunch of special hardware and you know, special software and you know, if you can get the cheap laptops to do all that. It's like all right, now this is the year. And you know, Chrome OS has been going on for so long, and it's been a while. I mean, I know it's been around forever. But like

Many of the generated samples are like this, quickly digressing from the boxed lunch.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found my like complete Linux installation. I don't know if this is part of the installation, or if this is an update or if this is a separate thing. I'm assuming it is. But anyway, I have a Linux installation on my lunch.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found that it was filled with sand. It was a little bit on the chipped side, but not enough to notice. I don't think I saw any rust on it. I think it was all perfectly good. I think it was pretty much as new as it gets. So I opened it up, and sure enough, it was like, you know, a whole bunch of loose sand, and so I put that back. And I just thought this is terrible. I thought it's the worst mistake in the world. It's it's such a waste. I mean, obviously, I'm not gonna eat it. But what am I gonna do with this box of sand? What am I going to do with it? What am I gonna do with it? It's it's so disgusting. So I just, you know, I made some sandwiches from it, but it just it just it's it's such a waste. I hate it.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found this little tiny little block of chocolate and a little tiny little piece of paper that says, you know, nice job. Thanks for your support. You've supported us for a long time. And I think that's actually a really great thing to do. And I'm very proud of them for that because like, I'm I'm an apple user. I'm a big fan of apple. I'm a huge apple fan. And like you said, Marco, like, I just I am that kind of person. I don't like to give up on things I like. So I'm very proud of them for doing that. And it's something I've been thinking about. This is this is why I was so happy about this thing, because I think that like, I think it's a very Apple like, it's a very powerful, you know, like they're they're clearly they're trying to do something that is unique to them. And I think that's that's what makes this so cool. And it's very kind of of them to do this. And I think it's a very smart thing to do. And I was very happy about that.

Who's cutting onions in here?

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found the four gigs of ram I had ordered. I took the little plastic box and threw it in the trunk of my car and I drove to the airport.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found a package that had my name on it.

Casey
Oh my word.

Marco
I'm gonna be like the world's most famous tshirt.

Casey
That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm gonna be the world's most famous t shirt.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found a little tiny, one pound bag of frozen spinach. And it was a fantastic green. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I'm not a big fan of spinach. But it was wonderful. And I ate it like a salad. And it was great.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found that it is significantly smaller and lighter than I expected. It's now a much better lunch than I remembered and I had way more room in my suitcase for all my lunches. So thank you to the organizers of WWDC. And I'm looking forward to next year, I'm going to bring my lunch and just throw it in my suitcase. I think it's going to be an even better experience.

Casey
Yeah, I think I'm going to go a different route. I'm going to bring my sandwich to WWDC. And that will be it for me, but I can tell you that I think that that will be a really awesome experience. And I am very excited about that.

John
I don't think that sandwich is going to be good.

Casey
So we're going to go with the sandwich.

Marco
That's the thing like, like you know, the the whole point of WWDC is not to have an experience. It's to show off what your favorite company is doing and it's to show off what Apple's doing. And like I'm not I don't want to show off the fact that I'm going to WWDC, I don't want to show off anything. I want to go to WWDC and have a good time. And that's that's why I'm bringing my lunch.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found a Kindle Fire HD seven.

...

So I opened my WWDC boxed lunch and to my surprise, I found that I had a giant cup of steamed broccoli and the image of it in my head of the box lunch. And it's like a giant big, big steamed broccoli and I'm like, you know, if I if I was to cook that, you know, how long does it take to cook broccoli? Like is there a recipe for that? What is the best way to cook broccoli? And so I looked up how to cook broccoli. And the only way I could get it to cook was to put it in the microwave, which was not the best idea because you're going to be cooking the microwave. So I knew I had to figure out a better way to cook it. And I found out that there was a recipe for cooking broccoli on the stove top. And that's what I did. And then I was able to cook it and it was a lot less time. And I like it a lot. And I ended up taking a picture of it and posting it on Instagram. And I was very surprised to see that the picture that I posted I think was the most liked picture I had ever posted. I think it was more liked than anything I ever posted on my Instagram feed. So that's the power of sharing your recipe with the world. So I put it on my Instagram profile. And then I did it again, I put it on my Twitter profile, which is a little bit different because Twitter has its own interface. And then I did it again. And the third time, I think I actually posted the recipe, because then it had to go through approval on Twitter, which I did not know how to do. And then it did go through approval, and I made it to the top of the list of recipes that I want to share with my Twitter followers. And so that's what I did. And so I did that. And then I did it again. And then I did it again. And then I posted it to Facebook. And then it went viral. And it's been the top of my top of my feed ever since then. So I'm very proud of that. I'm very proud of that recipe. And I'm very proud of the way it turned out. And I'm very proud of the fact that I shared it and then also that I didn't try to monetize it.

Casey
That's amazing.

Marco
So anyway, we should probably talk about a little bit of follow up

...

John
Well, you're not getting a refund, because it's not the same thing. It's not like you bought the same thing. You bought the lunch.

Casey
Okay, so I would like to address something that has been a topic of discussion in the chat room and on Twitter in the last 24 hours. And that is that a lot of people have been really upset about what seems to be a misunderstanding of what I had done or had not done. I believe I had said I was going to get a refund. Now, I think I said I was going to get a refund, and that is not true. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund.

John
I didn't get a refund.

Casey
I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I did not get a refund. I

That's all, folks!

If you'd like to learn how to train a model to generate samples from your own favorite podcast, check out my other post: How to fine-tune GPT-2 on podcast transcripts.

Comments or questions? Reach me on Twitter or send me an email.

...

Marco
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Casey
So you're telling me that my life has been destroyed